wh0 am I

im soo confused…i lost the meaning of living

A Playlist For Life’s “Special” Moments :D

Posted by avaritia on May 8, 2007

Prepping For Self-Pleasure

 It started in the morning when the secretary greeted you with a flirty hello. Her cleavage was even more ripe than usual, and you spent the remainder of the day grinding up against the leg of your desk. You count down the minutes until five o’clock, fly home and proceed to spend the next four minutes in the friendly confines of your bathroom making Kleenex ghosts. As men, we realize part of our genetic makeup includes the deep-rooted desire to routinely exercise the semen demon, and now, we have a playlist for it.

Song 1- In the Mood For Love: Frank Sinatra, Song 2 – Doll Parts: Hole, Song 3 – Whip It: Devo, Song 4 – Stroke It: Clarence Carter, Song 5 – Spank Thru: Nirvana, Song 6 – Steady Pull: Jonathan Brooke Song 7 – Soul Suckin Jerk: Beck, Song 8 – Jerk It Out: Caesars, Song 9 - I Touch Myself: The Divinyls, Song 10 – So Lonely: The Police

Disposing Of A Body

Granted, this situation (hopefully) doesn’t come up as often as the desire to rub one out, but rest assured there may come a time in your life when something goes terribly wrong. One bad decision can lead to a lifetime of midnight visits from your cellmate Bubba, who may or may not decide your new name is Theresa. Nobody wants to deal with the physical and mental anguish of prison rape, so your first objective is to get rid of 125 pounds of indisputable evidence that’s slowly starting to make your hall closet smell like a sauna full of rancid pork. Here are the tunes that will help you do it.

Song 1 – Died In Your Arms Tonight: Cutting Crew, Song 2 – Cleanin Out My Closet: Eminem, Song 3 – Chop Me Up: Three Six Mafia, Song 4 – Digging a Ditch: Dave Mathews Band, Song 5 – Bury Me In Black: My Chemical Romance, Song 6: Swimming In Your Ocean: Crash Test Dummies, Song 7 – Lay Down Sally: Eric Clapton, Song 8 – Givin The Dog A Bone: ACDC, Song 9 – Murder 101: The Wallflowers, Song 10 – Body Count: Ice-T

Banging Your Buddy’s New Wife At Her Own Wedding Reception

You used to shrug off her infrared fuck-me eyes from the kitchen during poker games at your buddies house. Maybe she’s just one of those flirty types. Then you get invited to the wedding and even better, you’re the best man. The ceremony was beautiful and the booze at the reception is flowing strong and hard. As you’re walking back to the hall from the bathroom, you’re accosted by the blushing bride, except she’s not blushing, she’s super drunk, and super horny. Morality test meet gin and water, gin and water, morality test. Really, what other options did you have aside from taking her up to your room and stuffing her like a spicy spring roll. Hey, at least it wasn’t some random guy, plus, you’ll have the playlist ready to rock.

Song 1 – I’m An Asshole: Dennis Leary, Song 2 – Forbidden Love: Madonna, Song 3 – Gift of Flesh: Def Leppard, Song 4 – Love and Marriage: Frank Sinatra, Song 5 – Why Trust You: Alice Cooper, Song 6 – Sex Cow: Gwar, Song 7 – White Wedding: Billy Idol, Song 8 – Dirty: Christina Aguillera, Song 9 – Here Comes The Bride (instrumental), Song 10 – That’s What Friends Are For: Dionne Warwick

Vomiting Blood After “Absinthe Night”

It sounded like a superb idea at the time. “Let’s get the boys together for a night on the town. We’ll drink a shitload of absinthe at my place till midnight, then go make it rain at the Brass Rail”. When you wake up on the floor, you’re partially naked and lying in a pool of regurgitated meatball sub. It feels like somebody is playing Arkanoid in your head with steel tennis ball. You realize your wallet is gone and the car is on the front lawn as you crawl into the bathroom and proceed to bleed from every orifice like Bruce Willis’ feet in Die Hard. On the plus side, at least you made it home, and, you’ve got just the music for the occasion.

Song 1 – Sunday Bloody Sunday: U2, Song 2 – Evil Deeds: Eminem, Song 3 – Down With The Sickness: Disturbed, Song 4 – Devil Inside: INXS, Song 5 – Purple Hills: D12, Song 6 – Suicide Solution: Ozzy Osborne, Song 7 – Painkillers: Babes In Toyland, Song 8 – Creeping Death: Metallica, Song 9 – This Is The End: The Doors

The Wife Finally Agrees To “Open The Back Door”

Your wife/girlfriend has always said “I don’t get it” and “why would you want to stick it in there”? Well honey, I guess it’s a guy thing, but there isn’t anything we’d like to do more than finally pound that virgin balloon knot. After months, possibly years of begging, your dogged determination has finally paid off and she is open to letting you take the dirt road all the way home. You set the mood with some ice-cold malt liquor in foam cups while she drops three tranquilizers, but the moment would not be complete without the proper aural stimulation, so here’s your list.

Song 1 – Brown Eyed Girl: Van Morrisson, Song 2 – Vaseline: Stone Temple Pilots, Song 3 – Relax: Duran Duran, Song 4 – Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Pat Benatar, Song 5 – Push It: Salt N Pepa, Song 6 – Down In A Hole: Alice In Chains, Song 7 – Hurt: Nine Inch Nails, Song 8 – Breaking The Girl: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Song 9 – Rump Shaker: Wreckx-N-Effect, Song 10 – Can You Feel The Love Tonight: Elton John

Stalking Your Ex-Girlfriends On Facebook

Still using Myspace? Loser. All the cool kids have already made the switch to Facebook, and many of them are using this tool to track down and monitor every move made by girls they used to date. Call it psychopathic, call it creepy, just don’t call me while I’m trying to figure out if this new guy she’s seeing is actually a certified gynecologist. I don’t see what the big deal is. Yeah, we used to date; now I’m just curious what you’ve been up to, and where you live, and what time your husband gets home from work, and what color your panties are. Just normal stuff. Besides, it’s not like I touch myself inappropriately to the pictures…that often. Now you can enjoy some background music while you cyber-sidle up to your former flames.

Song 1 – Psycho: System Of A Down, Song 2 – Crazy: Leann Rimes, Song 3 – Every Breath You Take: The Police, Song 4 – Someone’s Lookin At You: Boomtown Rats, Song 5 – Spy Hard: Weird Al Yankovich, Song 6 – Hungry Eyes: Eric Carmen, Song 7 – Eyes Of A Stranger: Queensryche, Song 8 – Somebody’s Watchin Me (I Always Feel Like): Rockwell w/Michael Jackson, Song 9 – Creep: Radiohead, Song 10 – I Will Remember You: Sarah MacLachlin

Posted in fun stuff, life | 2 Comments »

Turn an ordinary T-shirt into a NINJA mask!

Posted by avaritia on May 6, 2007

Posted in fun stuff | 2 Comments »

b’day

Posted by avaritia on May 5, 2007

its my b’day..i turn 19 today….amd i am alone…no one wished me….im all alone…

Posted in life | 11 Comments »

Tips on starting a new job

Posted by avaritia on May 2, 2007

So you have been looking for work and now you have finally landed the job you have always wanted or maybe you landed your first job and now you are nervous about the first day of work. Well here are a few good tips for you to follow to ease the anxiety of starting a new job, some are common sense some you might not agree with.

Tip one is to exercise the day before your firstd day of work whether it is just going for a run or a quick walk or anything just exercise.

Tip two would be to eat a good meal the night before and in the morning before you start your new job.

Tip three is to arrive a little early for work maybe fifteen minutes early.

Tip four is to have a positive attitude, why are you nervous? Is it because you do not know anyone or you might not know what you are doing your first day, well do not think like that. You should look at it this way, no one is better than you and you will learn your new job quickly and you will do a good job.

Tip five is to get plenty of sleep, try to get at least eight hours of sleep or maybe ten even so you are refreshed and ready to get the day over with. Starting a new job is not always easy but doing some of these things make it a little easier.

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The Experience Of Getting High

Posted by avaritia on May 1, 2007

What is it like to consume cannabis? Good question.

theyo (hash oil) is derived from cannabis if you are curious :D

By Mikki Norris with Chris Conrad

(Originally written for a display at the Hash-Marijuana-Hemp Museum of Amsterdam. Based in part on observations from the book, High Culture, by William Novak (The Cannabis Institute of America, Inc., 1980.)

The cannabis “marijuana” or hash high is different for each person, depending on the particular details of conditions, setting, timing, state of mind, and the variety of cannabis used. Although cannabis is generally pretty benign, nothing is always safe and fun for everyone in every situation. This includes cannabis. Comfortable surroundings and good judgement are advised.

Smoked or vaporized cannabis is felt within seconds of being inhaled. Its peak effect is from 15 minutes to a half hour in duration, followed by a steep decline that levels off and wears away in 2 to 4 hours. People can smoke it in hand-rolled cigarettes, called “joints” or “spliffs,” a variety of pipes, or water pipes (“bongs”). A new technology in the form of “vaporizers” is enabling people to consume the resin containing THC through heating it short of burning the plant matter to eliminate harms that come with smoking material.

Eaten cannabis is not felt at first. It is a good idea to wait and see for an effect after a suggested dose, before eating more. In a half-hour to an hour, the initial effect is felt, and that can be abrupt and powerful. It maintains a relatively stable level and drops off in 4 to 6 hours. Intensity depends on dosage and metabolism. But if you don’t know yours, be prepared to lie down and rest for a while, if necessary. Fresh air, fresh juice, and gentle reassurances are the best things if you consume too much.

THE ENHANCER

Cannabis use can increase focus and concentration, making a person’s moods, sensations, and experience seem more intense. Your heart may feel like it’s pounding, the music is fantastic, this is the best dessert you’ve ever eaten and, wow, get a load of how beautiful nature is. The problem is that if you’re concentrating on something that’s negative, you can intensify that feeling, as well. Fortunately, something else will come along and distract you with another thought to pursue, if you so choose. And if your fleeting idea feels like the answer to the world’s problems, please write it down. It’s profundity might escape you later, but it will feel good if it turns out you’re right.

MEMORY

Marijuana does not appear to affect actual memory. You still remember your name and address, parents, childhood, and whatever you’ve learned along life’s highways and byways. Cannabis can be a memory trigger, which means that the experience is likely to remind the user of things that s/he has associated with cannabis in the past. There is some historical evidence that it’s even been helpful for some seniors to retain or recover memories and recognition.

A short-term memory interruption is common, however. A speaker may lose track of what he was saying just a moment ago. This effect is temporary while high and does not impact memory in general. It is really a fleeting distraction, and the description is misleading, because “short term memory” refers to thoughts that have not formed into memory yet. It’s like the moment before you begin to type at your computer; you haven’t hit the keys yet, so there is nothing to save. But if you reconstruct what led up to the idea, you will probably think of it again.

IS CANNABIS AN ESCAPE?

Most people consider cannabis to be an experience enhancer rather than an escape device. If you feel good, it may make everything seem even better. When some people feel down or depressed, smoking may be “inappropriate” and they might get more into their problems. But, many report that it may lead to a new understanding or perspective on a problem, helping to resolve it and lift one’s mood. It has been extremely helpful to people with terminal illness, helping them shake off depression and live out their remaining time with dignity and relatively good cheer.

For some people it is definitely an escape, but whether that is good or bad depends on the way that it is used. If it allows perspective and insight, that is good; if it is an avoidance mechanism, that is not a good use of cannabis. This is where the concepts of sensible and responsible adult use apply.

INSIGHTS AND CREATIVITY

People often get a new perspective on a familiar scene or problem, a seemingly profound thought or burst of creativity. There is a sense of awe, revelation and realization. Stoned insights tend to fall into three categories: 1) A deeper recognition or understanding of an already known truth or perception; 2) A new way of looking at something; 3) Playful fantasies and ideas.

It can result in uncontrollable giggling about silly ideas, or a burst of complex insights, such as when Carl Sagan solved a physics equation while “under the influence.” It can draw on the appreciation of a hitherto overlooked phenomenon, or reveal profound metaphoric relationships that apply to one’s own life. It can separate the consumer from the immediacy of life and lead to a more balanced perspective of their own situation. The possibilities are limitless because each set and setting is unique, and therefore capable of new ways of looking at things. That’s spontaneous mental generation.

JUDGMENT

Unlike alcohol intoxication, people who feel the effect of cannabis are aware of that fact and tend to moderate their behavior accordingly. For example, most people prefer not to drive when high since they know that their perceptions are somewhat altered even when not impaired. There is an effect wherein you may experience a feeling that you are simultaneously observing your own actions with an objective eye at the same time as you are doing the action, giving a new sense of perspective. At the same time, certain experiences may be infused with a new sensibility, such as “how can people go out and get drunk like that? I’m glad I chose cannabis instead.” Just don’t get judgmental about it. Many people report that cannabis makes them more open-minded and tolerant of diversity.

TIME

Your pulse speeds up a bit, so the count of heartbeats may give you the sense that more time has elapsed than actually has. The external measurement of time appears to pass more slowly, as well. For example: you may feel like an hour has gone by but when you look at a clock it might only have been ten minutes. You may look at a clock repeatedly and still not keep track of what time it is. Events seem to unfold more slowly, allowing more detailed observations and reactions. Several ideas may occupy the same moment, or thoughts may pass so rapidly that you don’t even try to keep up, you just observe the passage. Wow, is that still the same song playing as a while ago? That’s one long song. And if you’re driving, you might find yourself driving below the speed limit and letting everyone else pass.

SEX

Most people who’ve experienced it think that cannabis makes sex better. Some even consider it a mild aphrodisiac. It tends to increase sexual pleasure as it may lower inhibitions, slow down time, induce relaxation, make people more aware of touch and senses, and help to focus on the present moment. Orgasms may not be more intense, but the experience may seem more sensual. There’s a sense of deeper appreciation for the ambiance such as candlelight, visual aesthetics and music. More imaginative approaches may be explored, but that does not remove the individual’s responsibility or judgement for practicing safe sex and proper use of condoms.

PHYSICAL EFFECTS

All these effects are temporary. Reddening of the eyes; slight temporary increase in the rate of heartbeat; cool fingers and toes; mouth gets dry — “cotton mouth.” Cannabis and the cannabinoids are all non-toxic. Smoke itself is an irritant, and bronchial irritation can occur but no direct link to cancers have been proven. Ironically, cannabis is also a vasodilator and bronchodilator, so it can actually help some asthmatics.

There are no deaths that have been attributed to cannabis overdose, but it is possible to have a very unpleasant experience, especially due to the one-hour delay in effect when large amounts of it are eaten. That would be extremely rare, but once you’ve eaten too much you may need to vomit or just wait it out. That is an advantage to smoked or vaporized cannabis; because the effect is felt almost immediately, it is a simple matter to stop when the desired subjective effect is achieved.

FOOD

Most people get “the munchies” (a strong desire to eat) and say that food tastes exceptionally good, and chocolates or desserts taste even better. Some people say they can taste the separate ingredients in food and distinguish new subtleties in olfactory sensations. A few people experience the opposite effect: a loss of appetite and would rather postpone eating and do something else. Sometimes that is accompanied by a very strong appetite a few hours later. If it kicks in late at night when you should be getting ready for bed, that is where spontaneity vs. personal responsibility and moderation comes into play.

THINKING/ CONSCIOUSNESS ALTERATION

Consumers may feel a slight euphoria, happiness, or sense of “well-being.” Many mundane things suddenly seem more interesting; alive; rich in details. Problems seem less severe and pressing. Stoned thinking has been compared to the indirect move of the knight on a chessboard, as opposed to the direct linear moves of the rook or bishop; like switching between two or more frames of mind. It may take you off on tangents as you follow a train of thought. For some however, thinking may be “foggy;” less clear or focussed. Then there are the times when you just get the giggles and laugh about anything, no matter how silly or ridiculous. You may realize that something that has really been bothering you is actually not such a big deal after all, or that something you overlooked before could be the key to a problem you’ve been trying to solve. Some people become more observant or self-conscious, and talk less. Others become more spontaneous and sociable.

A profound metaphor may reveal itself with rich implications for your life and destiny. This aspect has led to cannabis being used as a sacrament in many of the world’s religions throughout history. There are a variety of Christian, Hindu, Islamic and other religious denominations that revere cannabis as a sacred plant. Bible scripture is cited to support its use.

PARANOIA / ANXIETY

Some people, especially novice smokers and people living under drug war marijuana prohibition, may feel uncomfortable with the changes they experience while stoned. They may become paranoid or self-conscious, or possibly experience a sense of panic (especially if they ate too much cannabis). This is often triggered by the sudden and often subliminal recognition that the cannabis consumer’s heart is beating faster. Just reminding them that this is a normal effect will usually reduce their anxiety. Antidote: This discomfort is usually handled by changing the environment, getting some fresh air and trying to relax. One should lie down, breathe slowly and drink some orange juice. A reassuring friend is also helpful. Remember: No matter what, the effect will wear off in a few hours.

RELAXATION/TIREDNESS

On a physical level, cannabis helps relax muscles and reduce spasms, including those caused by spinal injury or MS. Many adults also often use cannabis to relax and unwind after work, to let go of the day’s tensions and to adjust their mental attitude. Most people prefer not to smoke when they have a lot of things to get done, because smoking cannabis (especially indica) can sometimes make one tired, sleepy or feeling sluggish. Other people become energized or even “hyper” when they consume cannabis. Other people find that it gives them a lift and change of perspective to keep them alert.

OVERDOSE?

No one has ever died from consuming cannabis. There is no such thing as a fatal overdose. On the other hand, one can consume more than a comfortable amount, especially when eating or drinking it. Symptoms of overindulgence usually include unpleasant physical reactions or exaggerated psychological emphasis on annoying situations that can lead to paranoia or, rarely, panic. Since the effect of smoking is almost immediate, it is relatively easy to prevent this from occurring by stopping your intake while still at a comfortable level. Any negative effects wear off in a short time and you can often simply lie down and sleep them away. Generally, there is no hangover when you wake up.

SOCIALIZING

Some people enjoy smoking and interacting with others, and feel they enjoy a special communication, bond or connection with other smokers while high. Others may sometimes become quiet, introspective, self-conscious, uncomfortable or have difficulty making conversation and prefer not to be stoned in public or a social situation.

MUSIC

Most people say that music sounds “richer.” They can hear sounds differently, more vividly and intensely. Some claim it enhances their ability to hear the distinct lines of several instruments at once and that they better grasp how the various instruments interact to produce the music.

READING

For some, reading seems impossible while high as they may forget the beginning of the sentence by the time they get to the end. Stoned readers may at times find themselves reading the same paragraph over again. Stoned readers may at times find themselves reading the same paragraph over and over again. Stoned readers may find themselves reading the exact same paragraph over and over and over again and again. On the other hand, others can focus on it and feel reading is even more enjoyable. When reading imaginative works, being high can increase the sense of empathy and help one to visualize situations.

Excerpted from the Hash, Marijuana, Hemp Museum of Amsterdam

Posted in health, life | Leave a Comment »

7 Persuasive Reasons Why Men Should Shave Their Privates

Posted by avaritia on May 1, 2007

Most men worry obsessively about the hair on their heads but rarely give a second thought to their pubic hair. Only when the time is right with that special lady do men realize they should have spent some time grooming their privates. Guys, here are 7 compelling reasons why you should groom your pubic hair or even remove it completely.

1. Cleanliness. The crotch is a focal point for heat, sweat, and bacteria. Cropping or removing your pubic hair makes that area much easier to keep clean, and more importantly, smelling clean and manly. She’s more likely to explore that area up close if it’s well maintained.

2. Novelty. The contrast between your obviously adult-sized package and your new hairlessness can be quite erotic, and not just to you! Your lover may gush over the idea of making love to what now has the illusion of being forbidden fruit.

3. It’s More Inviting. If you remove most or all of her objections to performing oral sex on you, isn’t it worth the trouble? Pay special attention to removing stray hairs from your shaft. Hair in the mouth sucks, but she won’t if she finds one.

4. Don’t Forget The Scrotum. A woman’s body is playground of softness and smoothness, so don’t you think she’ll appreciate the same on you? A silky smooth ball sack invites both manual and oral caresses. She’s far more likely to play down there if she doesn’t have to use a weed-whacker to find it.

5. It’s Healthier. She’ll see immediately that you have no skin outbreaks or unwanted “critters” to hide. Furthermore, you will have greater manual sensitivity when you perform your periodic testicular self-exam. You do examine yourself regularly, don’t you? You should. The earlier you catch any problems, the easier they are to fix.

Learn more about Testicular Self Exams (TSE) at http://my.webmd.com/hw/mens_conditions/hw234856.asp

6. It’s Fun To Let Her Do It! That’s right, let her shave you! This is not only an exercise in trust, but a highly-suspenseful erotic thrill ride. The danger of an ultra sharp razor in such a sensitive area, the tension of long slow razor strokes, the aching of your pulse-pounding erection, and the foamy friction of her shaving-creamed hand on your shaft can intensify your pleasure like you never thought possible. Just don’t make any sudden moves.

And most importantly (to some at least):

7. It Makes Your Erection Look Huge. I’m not kidding – you will swear that you gained at least an extra inch in length! If your crotch is not groomed regularly, you probably have pubic hair at least part way up your shaft. Your penis “appears” to begin where that pubic hair ends. Remove the underbrush and your hidden length will be revealed.

When you’re grooming the hair on your “big head,” don’t forget about the hair on the “little head” too! Whether you do it to please yourself or a partner (or both), regular pubic hair grooming or even total pubic hair removal can spice up your love life. If you like it enough, consider permanent removal methods such as laser hair removal or electrolysis.

Note that some people experience moderate to intense itching the first few days after shaving as the pubic hair grows back. You might want your first grooming experience to be at the beginning of a weekend so you’re not squirming in your office chair all day Monday! The itching should decrease or stop if you continue to groom yourself regularly.

Posted in health | Leave a Comment »

meaning less

Posted by avaritia on April 30, 2007

I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

Posted in life | Leave a Comment »

How To Remove Red Eye in Photoshop (any Version)

Posted by avaritia on April 29, 2007

Difficulty: EasyTime Required: 5 minutes

Here’s How:

  1. Open the image.
  2. Go to Image > Duplicate and close the original.
  3. In Photoshop 6 or earlier, go to View > New View. In Photoshop 7 go to Window > Documents > New Window. This will open a duplicate window of the same image.
  4. Zoom one of the windows so that you can see the eyes as large as possible. Set the other window view to 100%.
  5. Arrange the two windows so you can see both the zoomed view and the 100% view at the same time.
  6. Create a new layer.
  7. Use the eyedropper to pick up a color from the iris of the eye. It should be a fairly gray tint with a hint of the eye color.
  8. Paint over the red part of the eye on the new layer, being careful not to paint over the eyelids.
  9. Go to Filters > Blur > Gaussian and give it about a 1 pixel blur to soften the edges.
  10. Set the layer blend mode to Saturation. This will take the red out without removing the highlights, but in many cases it leaves the eyes too gray and hollow looking.
  11. If that’s the case, duplicate the saturation layer and change the blend mode to Hue. That should put some color back in while still preserving the highlights.
  12. If the color is too strong after adding a Hue layer, lower the opacity of the Hue layer.
  13. When you’re happy with the results you can merge the extra layers down.

Posted in computers | Leave a Comment »

I g0t a bl0G

Posted by avaritia on April 28, 2007

hmmm…..i dont know wat to write here rit know…soo laters

Posted in life | Leave a Comment »

Hello world!

Posted by avaritia on April 25, 2007

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

 
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